My mom thinks that dating someone young enough to be your child is like dating your own child. Ew. She obviously didn't pay much attention in Philosophy 101. Possibly cut the class dating someone her brother's age. Which, by her logic, must have been like dating her own brother. Ew.
пятница, 7 сентября 2012 г.
понедельник, 27 августа 2012 г.
четверг, 23 августа 2012 г.
суббота, 23 июня 2012 г.
воскресенье, 3 июня 2012 г.
четверг, 31 мая 2012 г.
четверг, 17 мая 2012 г.
среда, 9 мая 2012 г.
A phone conversation.
No, I'm not a lesbian.... No, my failed relationships and propensity for
emotionally stunted men couldn't turn me gay. You do not just turn gay,
that's not how it works!... Please don't worry, I'm not a lesbian and
will never be one because I was not born like that. Don't be ridiculous,
please... Oh, please! What gave you that idea in the first place? ...
Fine, if you wanna keep it up, I'm having a secret affair with a guy! There's no love, no future, no real involvement. It's been going on for a decade and I hope it stays that way, just meaningless mindblowing sex, no strings attached. Satisfied now? ... Mom? ... Mom?... Are you not talking because you're stroking or because you're silently wishing I were a lesbian?
суббота, 28 апреля 2012 г.
Long Time No... Snog?
Something wierd and nice happened today.
Went to see friends at their work, in one of the clubs at a club stack. They said another friend worked at a club a couple levels above. So I climbed up there.
I was really glad to see him after all these years, so I naturally threw my arms open for a hug.
He was utterly surprised, for a split second I thought he was having trouble placing me, but then there was that spark of recognition and geniune happiness when he hugged me.
And immediately proceeded to snog half my face off!
Am I missing something? Am I schitzophrenic? Is he? Did we have an affair back then that I don't remember about? I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that. I mean, inappropriateness and stubble rash aside, he's a darn good kisser. You'd never think just looking at him how good a kisser he is, I mean, people go to hell for that sort of virtuosity. I mean, really, WOW.
Went to see friends at their work, in one of the clubs at a club stack. They said another friend worked at a club a couple levels above. So I climbed up there.
I was really glad to see him after all these years, so I naturally threw my arms open for a hug.
He was utterly surprised, for a split second I thought he was having trouble placing me, but then there was that spark of recognition and geniune happiness when he hugged me.
And immediately proceeded to snog half my face off!
Am I missing something? Am I schitzophrenic? Is he? Did we have an affair back then that I don't remember about? I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that. I mean, inappropriateness and stubble rash aside, he's a darn good kisser. You'd never think just looking at him how good a kisser he is, I mean, people go to hell for that sort of virtuosity. I mean, really, WOW.
вторник, 24 апреля 2012 г.
пятница, 20 апреля 2012 г.
понедельник, 9 апреля 2012 г.
воскресенье, 1 апреля 2012 г.
Б...! Б...! Без базара о нетрадиционных ориентациях!
What are people thinking when they're getting ready to go to the theater? Like, normal people in normal democracies. Are they thinking about what they're going to wear? If it will be crowded on the subway? If the house seats the male lead is supposed to have booked for them will be good?
I'm just curious. Because what I was thinking today was, "Will I get arrested for carrying a Stonewall Some People Are Gay Get Over It totebag?"
I believe, that is the main purpose of such legislative masterpieces. To make me scared. To take my tax money and shut me the hell up. Make me afraid to stand up for what I believe it.
Well, you know what? I may be scared shitless but I still had that bag and I did nothing to hide the inscription. And if they have a problem with it, so be it. Let them arrest a single self-employed mother who is also a member of an ethnic minority.
Well, I got away with it today. Tomorrow will be dealt with as it comes.
I'm just curious. Because what I was thinking today was, "Will I get arrested for carrying a Stonewall Some People Are Gay Get Over It totebag?"
I believe, that is the main purpose of such legislative masterpieces. To make me scared. To take my tax money and shut me the hell up. Make me afraid to stand up for what I believe it.
Well, you know what? I may be scared shitless but I still had that bag and I did nothing to hide the inscription. And if they have a problem with it, so be it. Let them arrest a single self-employed mother who is also a member of an ethnic minority.
Well, I got away with it today. Tomorrow will be dealt with as it comes.
пятница, 30 марта 2012 г.
суббота, 24 марта 2012 г.
Does this seem believable?
1. I fell in love.
2. I screwed up.
3. Since I lost the biggest love of my life (see 2.) I decided I'd make myself another.
4. I have a daughter with a man whom I truly love and deeply respect, but we both have separate lives.
5. My daughter does not need a permanent live-in father figure because she has a real father.
6. I can't have a man in the house (see 5.).
7. I decided to get a humongous crush on an unattainable man.
8. D. is the perfect man for that.
8.1. I've already had a little crush on him for ages.
8.2. He is in a committed relationship.
8.3. He is gay.
See, it all adds up, doesn't it? Of course, as all those things were happening, I had no inkling. In retrospect, however, things are much clearer.
2. I screwed up.
3. Since I lost the biggest love of my life (see 2.) I decided I'd make myself another.
4. I have a daughter with a man whom I truly love and deeply respect, but we both have separate lives.
5. My daughter does not need a permanent live-in father figure because she has a real father.
6. I can't have a man in the house (see 5.).
7. I decided to get a humongous crush on an unattainable man.
8. D. is the perfect man for that.
8.1. I've already had a little crush on him for ages.
8.2. He is in a committed relationship.
8.3. He is gay.
See, it all adds up, doesn't it? Of course, as all those things were happening, I had no inkling. In retrospect, however, things are much clearer.
пятница, 23 марта 2012 г.
Gross
Some people say they hate gays because of anal sex, they find it disgusting. Well, honestly, I find all kinds of sex disgusting unless it's filmed for television with perfect lighting, sound, makeup, and beautiful people. In real life sex is gross, no matter how you spin it. Naturally, it's great fun and I enjoy it just as much as the next person, but still, it smells funny, sounds weird and looks ridiculous. (Not to mention all those extra inches in my mid-section that must have miraculously descended from my boobage section.)
Just because people do disgusting things, it is no reason to hate them! I find it hard to understand why someone would hate my gay friend for anal sex with another guy but would be ok with me doing it? Is it really about being gay or straight or about being gross? Because, come one, we all do pretty gross stuff, gay or straight. It's not all about candy hearts and flowers, at the end of the day, we all sit on similar toilets and wipe our asses with similar toilet paper, why do homophobes fixate on it?
Just because people do disgusting things, it is no reason to hate them! I find it hard to understand why someone would hate my gay friend for anal sex with another guy but would be ok with me doing it? Is it really about being gay or straight or about being gross? Because, come one, we all do pretty gross stuff, gay or straight. It's not all about candy hearts and flowers, at the end of the day, we all sit on similar toilets and wipe our asses with similar toilet paper, why do homophobes fixate on it?
вторник, 20 марта 2012 г.
Update on March 9
http://yoonzena.blogspot.com/2012/03/man.html
He did make it, surprisingly. His friends offered him to sleep over but he didn't. I can only presume there was no one to stay over with. For which I'm glad to whatever Force arranged that.
Can't help it. He makes me happy. Maybe he's the one. You know. The perfect man for me. Never around for longer that a few heated hours, always keeping up the suspence - is it the last time he comes over, or will there be another? How soon will he decide to settle with a sensible gal who'll have enough power to chain him down?
I wonder, if he stops calling and coming over, what will I do? Probably nothing, like last time we took a few years' pause. Still, I'm grateful he comes back from time to time, if only a few times a year. Strokes my ego. Amongst other things.
He did make it, surprisingly. His friends offered him to sleep over but he didn't. I can only presume there was no one to stay over with. For which I'm glad to whatever Force arranged that.
Can't help it. He makes me happy. Maybe he's the one. You know. The perfect man for me. Never around for longer that a few heated hours, always keeping up the suspence - is it the last time he comes over, or will there be another? How soon will he decide to settle with a sensible gal who'll have enough power to chain him down?
I wonder, if he stops calling and coming over, what will I do? Probably nothing, like last time we took a few years' pause. Still, I'm grateful he comes back from time to time, if only a few times a year. Strokes my ego. Amongst other things.
Photos
I don't know. Every time I find his photo on the Internet my stomach lurches. The yearning to taste him is damn near unbearble. God he looks good. God the memories feel good. And we never even did anything to jeopardize his marriage. No. We were so damn good. So well-behaved. So chaste. Like bloody teenagers doing nothing their parents didn't explicitly allow them to do. Except I fell hard. He of course never showed if he even had a clue. Hopefully not. Cause that'd have been embarrassing at my age, even back then. Would certainly be beyond mortifying now, if he learned I was still pining and stuff.
I know it's worth it. What's a few years of pining against a happy marriage? Nothing. I should be proud I didn't let him stray. But I just feel stupid.
I feel stupid. Oh so stupid.
I feel stupid, and thick-skulled, and dumb.
Or maybe I should have let him. You know. Should have committed the crime. Maybe I wouldn't be feeling so guilty and heartbroken now, looking at his latest publicity shot.
I know it's worth it. What's a few years of pining against a happy marriage? Nothing. I should be proud I didn't let him stray. But I just feel stupid.
I feel stupid. Oh so stupid.
I feel stupid, and thick-skulled, and dumb.
Or maybe I should have let him. You know. Should have committed the crime. Maybe I wouldn't be feeling so guilty and heartbroken now, looking at his latest publicity shot.
пятница, 9 марта 2012 г.
Man
1. Fiction. Nick Hornby. High Fidelity.
He lets you right into the inner workings of a male mind. It's most unnerving, how creepily similar a guy's marbles are to my own.
2. Life. Phone calls.
Why does he call at about 9-10 pm to tell me he's drinking vodka out of town but might be coming over for a shag later? I can tell he's not going to make it anywhere beyond whoseever bed he's about to collapse in. He know it just as surely as I do.
Also, he always calls my landline. Does he do it to check up on me? Not likely. He knows I never go out at night (except last Saturday, and that was a one-in-five-years thing).
Does he do it to prevent me from going out after hours? Not likely. Where would I go after 10 pm? Even if he doesn't come, I'll still be in. He knows I'm always at home, and even if I'm not particularly waiting for him, I won't say no to what he has to offer. He's a mind-blowing, reality-altering lay, what straight woman in her right mind would say no to that???
So, why on earth does he do it? What's the point?
He lets you right into the inner workings of a male mind. It's most unnerving, how creepily similar a guy's marbles are to my own.
2. Life. Phone calls.
Why does he call at about 9-10 pm to tell me he's drinking vodka out of town but might be coming over for a shag later? I can tell he's not going to make it anywhere beyond whoseever bed he's about to collapse in. He know it just as surely as I do.
Also, he always calls my landline. Does he do it to check up on me? Not likely. He knows I never go out at night (except last Saturday, and that was a one-in-five-years thing).
Does he do it to prevent me from going out after hours? Not likely. Where would I go after 10 pm? Even if he doesn't come, I'll still be in. He knows I'm always at home, and even if I'm not particularly waiting for him, I won't say no to what he has to offer. He's a mind-blowing, reality-altering lay, what straight woman in her right mind would say no to that???
So, why on earth does he do it? What's the point?
четверг, 1 марта 2012 г.
пятница, 24 февраля 2012 г.
Tonya
I find myself thinkng about her more often as spring is advancing.
She was a nice lady.
She love her dog.
She suffered from alcoholism.
She died last year.
After she'd died I found out she'd been living with her father.
His exwife took him in.
I kind of miss her.
I hope she rests in peace, whereever she is. I hope God didn't hold her alcohol abuse against her.
She was a nice lady.
She love her dog.
She suffered from alcoholism.
She died last year.
After she'd died I found out she'd been living with her father.
His exwife took him in.
I kind of miss her.
I hope she rests in peace, whereever she is. I hope God didn't hold her alcohol abuse against her.
четверг, 23 февраля 2012 г.
Please help stop the homophobic bill in Russia
This is from Andre and Jeremy of AllOut:
***
We just heard the news: in less than a week Russian lawmakers are expected to pass a law that will silence millions by making it a crime to read, write or even discuss anything “gay." Even worse, if this law passes in "liberal" St. Petersburg, the ruling party's next step is to push this law nationwide.
The Governor of St. Petersburg is our last chance to stop this bill: he has the power to veto it. So with your help, we're going to hit him where it counts : in the City's wallet.
St. Petersburg is one of Russia's number one tourist destinations. That's why an international storm of bad publicity will force the Governor to think twice about the cost of signing this bill.
We have less than a week to act: add your name to this urgent call. Next week, All Out members around the world are organizing flashmobs in front of Russian embassies and consulates - from New York to Buenos Aires, Paris to Delhi - where they will deliver your signature straight to the government's doorstep:
www.allout.org/stpetersburg-dont-go
Conservatives in St. Petersburg intent on passing this "gay gag rule" believe they can casually dismiss calls from world leaders - and even the country's own international treaty obligations respecting freedom of expression. But at the same time, Russian leaders recently announced that they want to invest $11 billion dollars to build their international reputation and attract tourists from around the world. St. Petersburg, Russia's cosmopolitan "window to the west" is key to that strategy. But they can't have it both ways - a thriving tourist economy can’t coexist with a new law that will muzzle artists, writers, musicians and regular citizens who live in - or visit - the city.
Imagine for a moment the new St. Petersburg - where newly empowered "thought police" can fine you for any mention of the well known fact that famed Russian composer Tchaikovksy, a St. Petersburg native, was gay. This law will censor millions of Russians, gay and straight - and silence any and all human rights organizations in Russia fighting for equal rights.
Will you take one minute to urge Governor Georgy Poltavchenko to veto the bill that is going to stain St. Petersburg's international reputation - an issue close to his heart?
www.allout.org/stpetersburg-dont-go
Over the past few months over 270,000 people have joined All Out in denouncing the bill, and thousands of us have picked up the phone to call our foreign offices, pushing the US, UK, Germany, France, Australia and others to issue official condemnations. We have to keep up the pressure - now, more than ever.
We have less than a week before the final vote. Add your name to this call now: if the Governor feels that the world is looking, and that the good reputation of the city is at stake - he'll have to think twice before signing this odious bill into law:
www.allout.org/stpetersburg-dont-go
Thanks for going All Out.
Best,
Alberto, Andre, Erika, Flavia, Guillaume, Jasmin, Jeremy, Joseph, Oli, Tile, Wesley
SOURCES:
St. Petersburg: The Tourist Capital
www.themoscowtimes.com/beyond_moscow/stpetersburg.html
“Russia will spend over $11 billion on programs aimed at promoting tourism to Russia through 2018.”
www.themoscownews.com/russia/20110915/189047809.html
Russia: “Anti-Gay Propaganda Bill” Passes Second Reading
www.globalvoicesonline.org/2012/02/10/russia-anti-gay-propaganda-bill-passes-second-reading
Mothers petition St. Petersburg to drop anti-gay legislation
www.rt.com/news/prime-time/mothers-petition-gay-community
All Out is bringing people together in every corner of the planet and of every identity - lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, transgender and all that’s between and beyond - to build a world in which everyone can live freely and be embraced for who they are.
Our mailing address is:
Purpose Foundation
224 Centre St
New York, NY 10013
Copyright © 2012 AllOut.org, All rights reserved.
***
We just heard the news: in less than a week Russian lawmakers are expected to pass a law that will silence millions by making it a crime to read, write or even discuss anything “gay." Even worse, if this law passes in "liberal" St. Petersburg, the ruling party's next step is to push this law nationwide.
The Governor of St. Petersburg is our last chance to stop this bill: he has the power to veto it. So with your help, we're going to hit him where it counts : in the City's wallet.
St. Petersburg is one of Russia's number one tourist destinations. That's why an international storm of bad publicity will force the Governor to think twice about the cost of signing this bill.
We have less than a week to act: add your name to this urgent call. Next week, All Out members around the world are organizing flashmobs in front of Russian embassies and consulates - from New York to Buenos Aires, Paris to Delhi - where they will deliver your signature straight to the government's doorstep:
www.allout.org/stpetersburg-dont-go
Conservatives in St. Petersburg intent on passing this "gay gag rule" believe they can casually dismiss calls from world leaders - and even the country's own international treaty obligations respecting freedom of expression. But at the same time, Russian leaders recently announced that they want to invest $11 billion dollars to build their international reputation and attract tourists from around the world. St. Petersburg, Russia's cosmopolitan "window to the west" is key to that strategy. But they can't have it both ways - a thriving tourist economy can’t coexist with a new law that will muzzle artists, writers, musicians and regular citizens who live in - or visit - the city.
Imagine for a moment the new St. Petersburg - where newly empowered "thought police" can fine you for any mention of the well known fact that famed Russian composer Tchaikovksy, a St. Petersburg native, was gay. This law will censor millions of Russians, gay and straight - and silence any and all human rights organizations in Russia fighting for equal rights.
Will you take one minute to urge Governor Georgy Poltavchenko to veto the bill that is going to stain St. Petersburg's international reputation - an issue close to his heart?
www.allout.org/stpetersburg-dont-go
Over the past few months over 270,000 people have joined All Out in denouncing the bill, and thousands of us have picked up the phone to call our foreign offices, pushing the US, UK, Germany, France, Australia and others to issue official condemnations. We have to keep up the pressure - now, more than ever.
We have less than a week before the final vote. Add your name to this call now: if the Governor feels that the world is looking, and that the good reputation of the city is at stake - he'll have to think twice before signing this odious bill into law:
www.allout.org/stpetersburg-dont-go
Thanks for going All Out.
Best,
Alberto, Andre, Erika, Flavia, Guillaume, Jasmin, Jeremy, Joseph, Oli, Tile, Wesley
SOURCES:
St. Petersburg: The Tourist Capital
www.themoscowtimes.com/beyond_moscow/stpetersburg.html
“Russia will spend over $11 billion on programs aimed at promoting tourism to Russia through 2018.”
www.themoscownews.com/russia/20110915/189047809.html
Russia: “Anti-Gay Propaganda Bill” Passes Second Reading
www.globalvoicesonline.org/2012/02/10/russia-anti-gay-propaganda-bill-passes-second-reading
Mothers petition St. Petersburg to drop anti-gay legislation
www.rt.com/news/prime-time/mothers-petition-gay-community
All Out is bringing people together in every corner of the planet and of every identity - lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, transgender and all that’s between and beyond - to build a world in which everyone can live freely and be embraced for who they are.Our mailing address is:
Purpose Foundation
224 Centre St
New York, NY 10013
Copyright © 2012 AllOut.org, All rights reserved.
воскресенье, 12 февраля 2012 г.
Live recording
It's the next best thing to actually being there. Of course, it's not even remotely as exciting as the real stuff, but still it's the closest I can get to him without actually taking a train. Which, in itself, is such a preposterous idea. I'm not in my twenties anymore. Neither is he. His stepson is.
The songs transport me back there. When I was twenty-five, and he was thirty-six, and we seemed to have not a care in the world whenever he came to town for a couple of gigs. I called them tour gigs, just to make myself sound posher.
All I can do now is put on my headphones and listen to other concerts, in a different city, with a different audience. I'm dissolving in his voice, the sounds of the band and the audience's reaction.
And then out of nowhere I hear him call out to his wife from the stage. It's been years since we were together, but it still feels like being punched in the gut, when your breath is kicked completely out of your ribcage, and you gawk around, disoriented, confused and in pain.
Then I come round, let my reason take over. Exactly. It's been years. It was over long ago. You were the one to end it. Remember? He always belonged to her, he was never yours to keep. Remember? You were just an inconsequential girlfan, one out of a... well, there wasn't exactly a lineup, not with you in the picture, but still...
Still, I miss him so badly it sometimes physically hurts. I know things are right now, with me alone and him with his wife. It's where we're both supposed to be. I just wish I didn't miss him so much.
The songs transport me back there. When I was twenty-five, and he was thirty-six, and we seemed to have not a care in the world whenever he came to town for a couple of gigs. I called them tour gigs, just to make myself sound posher.
All I can do now is put on my headphones and listen to other concerts, in a different city, with a different audience. I'm dissolving in his voice, the sounds of the band and the audience's reaction.
And then out of nowhere I hear him call out to his wife from the stage. It's been years since we were together, but it still feels like being punched in the gut, when your breath is kicked completely out of your ribcage, and you gawk around, disoriented, confused and in pain.
Then I come round, let my reason take over. Exactly. It's been years. It was over long ago. You were the one to end it. Remember? He always belonged to her, he was never yours to keep. Remember? You were just an inconsequential girlfan, one out of a... well, there wasn't exactly a lineup, not with you in the picture, but still...
Still, I miss him so badly it sometimes physically hurts. I know things are right now, with me alone and him with his wife. It's where we're both supposed to be. I just wish I didn't miss him so much.
пятница, 10 февраля 2012 г.
I'm hardly up
I honestly planned to go to bed at 1 am. It's 2:42. I should not have started that clause. Once you translate the first couple of words there'r no stopping. You end up translating the whole contract form.
Well, I should probably call it a day.
Well, I should probably call it a day.
вторник, 7 февраля 2012 г.
Translating Types of Companies
http://www.englishelp.ru/translator/articles-for-translator/17-patterns-of-ownership-abbreviations.html
среда, 1 февраля 2012 г.
The List
Must haves:
1. Friends with my daughter
2. Financially secure
3. Not an addict
4. Male
5. Heterosexual or bisexual
6. Taller than me
7. Older than me
Would be nice but not a deal breaker
8. Has some teeth and hair on the head
That's quiet a list, as you can see. Chances of someone fitting that description are quite slim. Every year I get pickier and less attractive. The math does itself.
1. Friends with my daughter
2. Financially secure
3. Not an addict
4. Male
5. Heterosexual or bisexual
6. Taller than me
7. Older than me
Would be nice but not a deal breaker
8. Has some teeth and hair on the head
That's quiet a list, as you can see. Chances of someone fitting that description are quite slim. Every year I get pickier and less attractive. The math does itself.
вторник, 31 января 2012 г.
вторник, 24 января 2012 г.
Getting better
Some days it doesn't hurt too bad.
I used to all the time, relentlessly, never letting up.
There seemed to be no part of me that didn't hurt 24/7.
But lately there have been days when I look into myself and say, hey, this isn't so bad as it used to be.
Hey, here's a spot that's pain-free, like the tip of my coccyx.
It's actually getting bearable.
It doesn't wring my guts every time I think of him.
Sometimes I just see an image of him in the back of my head, and the pain is not as excruciating.
Maybe I'm healing.
Maybe I'm going numb.
Either way, I hope it'll stop one day forever.
I used to all the time, relentlessly, never letting up.
There seemed to be no part of me that didn't hurt 24/7.
But lately there have been days when I look into myself and say, hey, this isn't so bad as it used to be.
Hey, here's a spot that's pain-free, like the tip of my coccyx.
It's actually getting bearable.
It doesn't wring my guts every time I think of him.
Sometimes I just see an image of him in the back of my head, and the pain is not as excruciating.
Maybe I'm healing.
Maybe I'm going numb.
Either way, I hope it'll stop one day forever.
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